just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
