i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
ttyl tear gas
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
