YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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