Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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