gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Can't talk, ducks in the car
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
