hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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