Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
