is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
