We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
