Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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