I cannot find my penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
