so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
