I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
