Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
