He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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