I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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