I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
