He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
