i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
