her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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