I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
