Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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