Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
