I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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