For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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