is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
