you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
