Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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