can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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