So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
