i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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