therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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