Your tits are I can't wait for
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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