Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
