Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my shit smells like andre
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
