I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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