Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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