My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
