Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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