At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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