we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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