she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
