belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
