My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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