I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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