i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
