Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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