yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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