OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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