dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
