I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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